


Of Gay Panic and Coffee Dates

by SooSooDyo (Phinphin)



Series: Lesbians [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cutie Kyungya, Eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man, F/F, Fashion Seonhee, Gay Panic, Genderqueen Junmyeon, Genderqueer Character, Girl Baekhyun, Girl Chanyeol, Girl Jongdae, Girl Kyungsoo, Girl Sehun, Lesbian AU, Lolita Fashion, She strong, Work out Jongeun, a lot of it, can lift all of Kyungya's love, girl jongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 10:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17465546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phinphin/pseuds/SooSooDyo
Summary: It's love at first sight. Kyungya is cute as a button, a doll come to life, and Jongeun wants nothing more than to spend her every moment of every single day with her.The only problem is that Jongeun is a whole disaster gay and she has no fucking clue how to go about making Kyungya her girlfriend





	Of Gay Panic and Coffee Dates

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to the sweetest Xia, for being absolutely wonderful in every single way <3<3<3
> 
> Little name cheat sheet just in case  
> Jongeun - Jongin  
> Kyungya - Kyungsoo  
> Seonhee - Sehun  
> Myeon - Junmyeon  
> Joohee - Jongdae  
> Baekhee (Baekkie) - Baekhyun  
> Chanri (not named in fic :<) - Chanyeol

The first time Jongeun had seen her she had been in line at the campus coffee shop, her and Seonhee’s order halfway delivered when something pink had caught her attention. The girl had been rushing, her curly high pigtails bouncing with each step and the fluffy skirt around her legs making soft swish swish sounds with the movement of her legs.

 

Jongeun guessed most people would have gotten caught on her clothing style, because it was unlike anything Jongeun had ever seen. The powdery pink cloak that reminded Jongeun of something from the early 1900’s with the white fluff around the collar and cuffs and the large bow tied around the waist coupled with booties that looked like they came from the same time period and the messenger bag backpack was enough to draw anyone’s attention. But what caught Jongeun’s attention was the beautiful face, large round eyes framed by long lashes, a cute button nose and thick baby pink lips all framed by gently curled bangs.

 

She looked like a doll and Jongeun wanted nothing more than to pick her up and hug her close.

 

She had been rudely brought out of his dreams of kissing the cute button nose a second later by the barista asking her to repeat her order and Jongeun’s mind, still too occupied with the girl of her dreams, had been unable to form any sort of coherent sentence, let alone remember what the fuck she was actually doing in a cafeteria queue. ‘

 

Seonhee had rolled her eyes so hard she must have seen her own brain when Jongeun had sheepishly showed up at their table with two black coffee instead of Seonhee’s usual sugar loaded iced caramel latte and Jongeun’s green tea. But when Jongeun had almost spilled her drink down her front as she spotted the girl again, climbing one of the stairs in view from the cafeteria, Seonhee had immediately perked up, diving down over Jongeun like a vulture spotting pray and quickly finding out just how badly Jongeun had managed to fall head over heel in the span of a second.

 

In that moment mission ‘Get Jongeun a girlfriend’ had commenced.

 

* * *

 

 

 “Her name is Kyungya. She studies literature, second or third year I don’t know. She has a Scottish fold munchkin-”

 

“A what?” Jongeun huffed up between reps, her chest muscles burning in that way that brought her so much satisfaction.

 

“It’s a kind of cat.” Seonhee said, moving up in front of Jongeun and showing a picture of a fluffy white cat with huge eyes looking up into the camera. On the photo several stickers were attached; hearts, sparkles and a kitty emoji. “The cat is named Snowy-”

 

“Aaawe.”

 

“Shut up and listen. The cat is named Snowy. She dresses in a style called ‘classic lolita’ or ‘military lolita’ or ‘sailor lolita’, I don’t know what the difference is between them though. She likes cute things, obviously, and books, obviously, and food. She posts pictures of food she cooks like all the time. And she seems to have a pretty religious skincare routine.” Seonhee listed from her phone screen.

 

Jongeun paused, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and wiping the sweat off of her face with a towel. Kyungya sounded adorable, just like the little doll she looked like. And her interests sounded just as cute, especially her cat. There was just one thing she was confused about.

 

“How did you find this out?” She asked Seonhee, a frown on her face.

 

“Instagram.” Seonhee replied, scrolling through something on her phone.

  
“Do I have that?” Jongeun asked, frowning and trying to remember all the social media accounts Seonhee had signed her up for. Seonhee lifted her eyes from her phone for half a second, one of her immaculately plucked eyebrows rising in answer. “Oh, I do.” Jongeun mumbled, reaching for her bag.

 

She did indeed have an Instagram account, one she hadn’t used for almost a year now. Her last picture had been a happy birthday post for Seonhee, surely one the girl herself had uploaded, and before that was a picture of her family dogs and a read out over her pulse from a successful workout. She felt a smile bloom on her face. That was a good workout indeed, and her recent one had been even better. She had made so much progress.

 

Would Kyungya be interested in that?

 

“How do I find her?” She asked, holding out her phone for Seonhee who rolled her eyes so hard Jongeun was sure she could see the back of her own head. Still, her friend took her phone and started tapping away on it before handing it back to Jongeun.

 

“Here you go. Don’t cream your pants too much okay.” She added with a wink and Jongeun felt blood rise on her cheeks.

  
“I just think she’s cute, that’s all.” She mumbled, pressing the follow button and starting to scroll down the feed. There was a lot of earthy pastels, and a lot of cat, and even more food, but it was enough to have Jongeun’s heart beating faster than it had during the whole work out.

 

“That’s odd because I don’t remember you ever asking me to help you find out more about anyone ever before you spotted her.” Seonhee said with a small chuckle.

 

Jongeun didn’t hear that. All she could focus on was a selfie Kyungya had posted last month of her getting ready for bed. She was wearing a panda bear pyjama and her cheeks were puffed up as she pulled a face for the camera. But more importantly. She had a bright pink roller in her bangs. A _roller_ , in her _bangs_!

  
“She’s adorable!” Jongeun squealed, hugging the phone close to her chest. She was going to have to go to the dentist because of Kyungya. She was just too sugary sweet! Her feet bounced up and down as she continued to coo over the picture, quickly taking a screenshot to set it as her background.

 

By her side Seonhee rolled her eyes hard enough to have her entire head following, the short newly bleached bob cut falling across her face as she pulled a face of disgust over Jongeun’s cooing. Jongeun ignored her, instead falling back against the work out machine and pulling her knees up toward her chest as she took a screenshot of every single selfie she could find.

 

Most of them were of something she called ‘coords’ and were full body pictures of her in dresses that reminded the English revolution except much much cuter. The dresses were most times no more than knee length and the skirt fluffed out from her waist, supported by petticoats. Her blouses were full of frilly ruffles and copper buttons and everything was decorated with intricate seams. The dresses went in the same earthy pastels as the rest of her feed, often soft muted greens, greyish navy blues, powdery pinks, and warm gentle browns.

 

“She’s so cute.” Jongeun breathed, stopping on a picture of Kyungya crouched down on the ground, a pink umbrella in her hands and a heart shape pursed that looked like it was made out of gingerbread at her side, as she helped her cat detangle from her leash. “She walks her cat!”

 

“You’re disgustingly in love.” Seonhee said with a grimace.

 

“You’re the one with a partner!” Jongeun protested, pouting up at her friend. Seonhee just shrugged, pulling up her phone, surely to text said partner. Jongeun tuned back to her phone, trying to figure out if she should comment on one of the pictures or not. What should she even say? You’re cute? I like you? Can we get married and have a family together? I would complete the Guyre Ironman triathlon for you! Because Jongeun totally would, if it meant Kyungya would like her back.

 

“Do you think she would like a picture if I posted one?” She asked out loud, looking over at Seonhee who looked back at her.

 

“Sure.” Seonhee shrugged. “Drop a few likes on her pics too. That should catch her attention.” She mumbled, looking back at her phone and slowly reaching for her bag. “I gotta go.”

 

“But you’re my spotter!” Jongeun protested, sitting up properly.

 

“You’re just looking at pictures of Kyungya anyhow.” Seonhee said with a teasing smile, giving Jongeun’s foot a small kick of her own. Jongeun pretended to kick back with all of her might.

 

“Asshole!”

 

“You know you love me.” Seonhee blew her a kiss before heading over to the exit of the gym, not at all caring about Jongeun’s work out. Jongeun sighed, trying not to get too disappointed. Seonhee had been right after all, she had spent about 15 minutes just looking at pictures of Kyungya. But could anyone really blame her? She most certainly thought not.

 

She stood up with a huff, deciding that she should probably round off her workout. But not before she had worked her biceps and shoulders some more. They needed to look extra big for her selfie so Kyungya would be really impressed.

 

The work out took another 30 minutes, and the photo another 20. She hadn’t counted on it being so hard to take selfies. This was why she never bothered. Her face always turned out looking odd or the angle anything but natural. Finally, she managed to take one good of herself by holding the camera over her shoulder and looking back at herself, her back facing the mirror as she flexed her biceps and triceps.

 

With a happy smile she quickly uploaded the photo before hitting the showers and spending the entire ride home with liking Kyungya’s photos. Surely she would notice her now. And then... something something, and then voilà, they would be in love and live happily ever after.

 

* * *

 

 

“You did what?!” Seonhee screeched, the entire lecture hall turning around to look at them. Jongeun felt herself sink down in her seat, a small blush rising on her cheeks.

 

“I like all of her photos.”

 

“You liked _all_ of them?”

 

“Yes.” Jongeun nodded, clicking her pen repeatedly. “Was I not supposed to?”

 

“No!” Seonhee looked at her as if she had grown a second head. “Now you’ll look like a creep! What kind of idiot likes every single photo of someone?”

 

“But you said I should.” Jongeun mumbled into her chest, having sunken down low enough for her butt to almost hang off the seat.

 

“I said a _few_ likes.” Seonhee corrected in a tired voice and Jongeun pouted, repeatedly filling in a square she had drawn on her notepad. “God you’re hopeless.”

 

“I’m not.” Jongeun protested only to have Seonhee give her a deadpan look. Jongeun looked away, not wanting to talk more about how instead of capturing Kyungya’s heart with her wave of likes and excellent selfie she was now a certified creep in the other’s eyes.

 

“You, me and Myeon are going to sit down and have a talk about this after class.” Seonhee said, already texting on her phone.

 

“You make it sound like I committed a sin or something.” Jongeun commented with a small huff as the professor walked in through the door.

 

“You did.” Seonhee hissed and Jongeun’s heart sunk even further, now residing firmly in the pit of her stomach as her hope drifted off with the cold air of the ac and out into space.

 

She spent the entire lecture sadly filling in more and more squares in her notebook even though she really should be paying attention to the lecture. She couldn’t find any motivation to do so though. She had really thought she was doing something good with leaving a like on all of Kyungya’s photos. Because when it came down to it, she really did like all of her photos. They were all very aesthetically pleasing, not to mention they contained her too. Wouldn’t it be a compliment for someone to like everything you did? Jongeun thought so. If Kyungya had done the same to her she would have liked it.

 

The moment the lecture was over she started packing up as usual, bending down under her desk to stuff her unused notebook into her bag and sort out her pen case as the professor droned on about some guest or another. She didn’t care. She wanted to head to the gym and work out until all of the frustration she was feeling had been sweated out.

 

“Hello everyone! My name is Doh Kyungya and I’m your representative from the students’ union.”

 

Jongeun straightened so fast she hit her head on the bottom of the bench, Seonhee bursting out laughing at her as she cradled her head in her arms. A giggle ran through the lecture hall and as Jongeun looked up she could see Kyungya look at her with worried eyes.

 

Heat immediately rose on her cheeks, scorching, and she quickly sank down in her seat, mortified, as the laughter died down and people turned back to the front of the lecture hall.

 

“Good to see some are excited.” Kyungya joked awkwardly. No one laughed. Jongeun peaked out over the edge of the chair in front of her, seeing Kyungya look down at the floor for half a second, her hands squeezing her skirt nervously. She was wearing a jumper skirt in tartan red, red tights in the same colour, and a blouse with a jabot and a small bow at the top of the collar. On her head sat a red beret from under which two thick braids hung down to her waist. Once again, she looked like an absolute doll and Jongeun couldn’t help but sigh longingly at the sight.

 

“Don’t drool.” Seonhee commented next to her but Jongeun paid her no mind.

 

“Um, as I said. I’m from the students’ union and I wanted to talk to you all about our extracurricular activities. Anyone who joins the union is free to join as many clubs as they want. We have movie clubs, language clubs, political clubs, sports clubs and anything else you might want!” She let out a small laugh, a nervous chuckle that had her nose scrunching up like a rabbit’s. Jongeun felt like crying from cuteness.

 

“I would recommend the photo club! We meet every Thursday to discuss photography and sometimes we arrange photography workshops! It’s really fun! But I’m slightly biased, because I’m a member.” She laughed again, a small blush rising on her full cheeks. Jongeun could feel her heart beat double pace, her whole chest feeling as if it was full of clouds.

 

“But uh, if any of you are interested I will be leaving an information pamphlet on how to join here. You can also just check out our website. Just search for the students’ union on the university homepage and you should find us.” She finished, giving a small bow before looking over at the professor with an unsure smile, clearly wanting to leave. The professor gave her a nod and she quickly walked out, her brown leather booties clicking against the tiled floor.

 

Jongeun followed her for as long as she could, almost rising out of her seat to catch one final look at her before sitting back down with a happy smile. Ah, she was too perfect! Her smile was out of this world! And her laugh! Better than any sound Jongeun had ever heard in her entire life!

 

“Yes!” Seonhee said from next to her, her eyes wide and determination burning inside them. The happy flame burning in Jongeun’s chest was immediately extinguished.

 

“What?” Jongeun asked cautiously.

 

“I know what we’re going to do to get you your girlfriend!” Seonhee declared, turning to Jongeun with fire in her eyes and a wide grin. Jongeun shrunk back, recognizing that look. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be on the receiving end of it.

 

“Which is?” She probed. Even though Seonhee’s ideas had a record of being more ambitious than they were successful the possibility of it actually working was too tempting to make Jongeun examine it too closely, despite not even having heard the idea yet.

 

“You’re going to join the photo club. And you’re going to make her swoon with your photo skills!” Seonhee said, grabbing Jongeun’s hand and pulling her along toward the almost untouched pile of information pamphlet that Kyungya had left behind.

 

“But I don’t know how to take pictures.” Jongeun pointed out. Her poor selfie skills attested to that.

 

“Psht, nothing but a small trifle. You have me to teach you, don’t you?” Seonhee said, grabbing a pamphlet before walking out of the lecture hall on determined feet, Jongeun hurrying after her with a mixture of excitement and anxiety in her stomach.

 

* * *

 

 

And that was how Jongeun found herself outside of the small photo clubs’ classroom the following Thursday, her heart pounding in her chest as she waited for herself to knock, which she wasn’t doing. Why was knocking suddenly so hard? It shouldn’t be this hard. It was just simple knocking. She had done it a hundred times before. Just raise your stupid hand and knock.

 

She turned around, ready to run away, and almost collided with a group of girls.

  
“Woah! Watch out!” One of the shorter ones said, smiling up at her. “Are you lost? You look lost? Do you need directions?”

 

“Uh?” Jongeun got out, not entirely sure what to say. Technically she wasn’t lost, even though she felt extremely lost in the foreign corridor.

 

“Are you here for the photo club?” The tallest of the group asked. She was even taller than Jongeun, something that didn’t happen very often.

 

She gave a small nod in reply, regretting it the next second as the short girl let out a happy sound and immediately started pulling her toward the door. The last girl, also shorter in stature, joined in with a cat like smile, pushing the door open to the small studio inside.

 

“Kyungya!” The last girl called, making the only girl inside jump loudly at the call of her name. “We caught one!”

 

“Joohee!” Kyungya gasped, moving forward and smacking the girl on the back of her head before frowning. Joohee shrugged, fixing her short pixie cut with a sweep of her fingers.

 

“I’m sorry. They didn’t force you, did they?” Kyungya asked, turning towards Jongeun who felt her brain short circuit as Kyungya’s wide eyes locked with hers. Gods they were so pretty. He could drown in them. And her eyelashes were so long! And she had a tiny little mole in her left waterline. Cute! God Jongeun wanted to kiss her so bad! Wait, was she talking to her? Shit. Fuck! What had she said?

 

“Uh.” Jongeun heard herself reply, her mouth refusing to form a coherent sentence as her eyes followed the curve of Kyungya’s lips. They looked so plump! Perfect for kissing. And the coral lip-gloss she had chosen today was really pretty. And she had a small mole above her lips. How many moles did she have? Jongeun would do anything to be allowed to explore.

 

“She’s fine!” The tall girl said, clapping Jongeun on the shoulder before pulling Kyungya away and breaking the spell the smaller had put on Jongeun. She blinked, feeling her brain slowly start back up as she watched Kyungya walk back to her desk, the tall girl talking animatedly next to her.

 

She was wearing a cream blouse today, warm brown lacing running down her back and ending in a large bow on top of her brown skirt. The skirt was pinstriped and at the bottom three layers of frill at the bottom, a brown one, a cream one, and another brown one.  Her white stockings were decorated with what looked like portraits, and on her head sat a straw hat, her long brown hair falling in ringlets around her shoulders. Jongeun’s knees felt weak. Kyungya had exchanged her usual booties for a pair of Mary jane heels in patent leather with a small bow at the buckle around the ankle.

 

She was so small up close, short and dainty. Yet she was pretty curvy, her hips appearing wide beneath the skirts compared to her slim waist and her chest noticeable but not vulgar in her blouses. She ticked all of Jongeun’s boxes, even the ones Jongeun wasn’t aware she had before seeing Kyungya.

 

“So, first time in the photo club?” The short girl who had first approached her prodded Jongeun in the side with her elbow, making Jongeun tear her eyes away from Kyungya.

  
“What?” She asked.

 

“Well I’m assuming because you didn’t bring a camera or anything.” The girl continued, gesturing to Jongeun’s person. Jongeun looked down, taking in the loose tank top she was wearing under her hoodie and comfortable jeans. No camera in sight, and just like the other had assumed the light tote bag she was carrying over her shoulder didn’t contain any camera either.

 

“My phone?” Jongeun offered, pulling it up from her back pocket. The short girl let out a loud laugh, pushing at Jongeun’s arm as she giggled.

 

“I like you.” She said. “You can stay.”

 

“Baekkie!” Kyungya called out, frowning at the other girl. Jongeun’s attention zeroed in on the other again. “Everyone is welcome.” She reprimanded with a light pout and ‘Baekkie’ immediately bounded over to the shorter, pulling her in in a hug and squishing her cheeks.

 

Jongeun wished he could do the same. She wanted to see if they were truly as soft as they looked, if all of her were as soft as she looked. But especially the cheeks... both pairs of cheeks.

 

Jongeun felt her ears heat up. She usually didn’t think about people that way, but the thought of what Kyungya might look like under the dresses, the milky white skin, the round hips, the soft stomach, wouldn’t leave her mind. She wanted to find out, wanted to know everything about Kyungya, every single detail. What made her blush, what made her smile, what made her laugh, what made her sigh happily, what made her moan...

 

Jongeun turned away, afraid her face was the colour of a tomato.

 

“Are you okay?” Kyungya asked from behind her, lightly touching her elbow.

 

Fuck!

 

FUCK!

 

“Uh, uh.” Jongeun turned around, looking down at the floor as she searched for an excuse. “Yeah, I just. Wrong throat.” She gave a light cough, pretending she had somehow choked on nothing. Kyungya’s large eyes grew even larger than usual.

 

“Wait, let me get you some water.” She said, quickly moving over to her bag (It was shaped like a _fucking bunny_!) and pulling out a water bottle. Just as quickly she moved over to Jongeun again, her steps light like a fairy. Jongeun felt her heart speed up at the sight.

 

“Thank you.” She mumbled as she accepted the pink water bottle, carefully sipping it so she wouldn’t choke for real.

 

“No problem.” Kyungya said with a bright smile, her large eyes almost completely disappearing as her cheeks rose.

 

Jongeun snorted water out of her nose.

 

* * *

 

 

The following club meeting didn’t go much better. Although she remembered to bring a camera this time all she really did was sit in the back and longingly look on as the group discussed the photos they had taken. She, of course, had forgotten that part.

 

The next week was slightly better, she had a few photos, mostly of dogs she had seen, but they weren’t exactly aesthetically pleasing, not like the others’ who talked about composition and subject and all sorts of technical jargon she didn’t know.

 

The week after that was the best of her life. Kyungya had noticed she had gotten lost when one of the most experienced members had held a mini lecture on composition and the rule of thirds and sat down next to her to help explain. Jongeun’s heart had been beating faster than she could remember it doing in ages, her palms sweaty and her arms feeling too long anytime she moved. Still, she tried to follow Kyungya’s explanations and actually managed to capture a photo of the other that looked really good.

 

Kyungya looked extra sweet in the photo. Her dress was powder pink with four bows running down the cream coloured front. Unlike most days when she wore tights she was only wearing a pair of low frilly socks and a pair of powder pink Mary jane shoes. As usual it was enough to completely take Jongeun’s breath away, and even Seonhee had admitted to finding Kyungya cute when she had seen the photo.

 

There was only one problem. How did she figure out whether Kyungya was gay as well, and more importantly, how did she let the other know that Jongeun was gay as hell for her? She had tried to look for any tell, to see how she behaved around other girls, to listen if she ever mentioned anything of the sort, to see how she reacted to being called cute. But it didn’t help one bit, because while Kyungya was touchy feely with girls, she was touchy feely with all girls so maybe it was just friendliness. And while she never mentioned a boyfriend or anything of the sort, neither did she mention any girlfriend, or that she was interested in girls. And when Jongeun called her outfit pretty she had seemed happy, but she had also just thanked her and informed her that her dress had pockets before showing them off.

 

Jongeun had reached a dead end. And she didn’t know how to move past it! How did one flirt with other girls? _She_ had been the one who had been asked out by her previous two girlfriends, both of them a lot more assertive than Kyungya but still small and petite. It was easier when there was kind of a visual tell, such as the rainbow patch on her ex’s bag. That had been a good tell. Kyungya should have one like that too, and she should ask Jongeun out, just so Jongeun knew she didn’t overstep any boundaries.

 

She simply had to resort to asking the only person she knew in a successful long-term relationship.

 

“How do you know if someone is gay?”

 

Seonhee looked up from her phone, raising an eyebrow at Jongeun.

 

“Are you having that much of a crisis?” She asked.

 

“No. Not me. I’m gay.” Jongeun said, ignoring Seonhee’s snorted ‘obviously’. “I’m talking about Kyungya.”

 

“Oh yeah she’s gay.” Seonhee said, reaching out to slap Myeon on the shoulder and making them look up at the pair. “Kyungya’s gay, right.”

 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Myeon said, clearly not knowing what they were talking about.

 

“See.” Seonhee said, turning back to Jongeun and raising her eyebrows. Jongeun blinked, looking between the couple as Seonhee triumphantly sipped her bubble tea.

 

“But how do I know she likes me back?” Jongeun continued, fiddling with the fly of her hoodie. She had just come from a morning workout and had opted for a light change of clothes since she would be carrying it around Uni all day, which was why she was wearing running leggings and her gym shoes instead of normal shoes. A tank top and hoodie was what she usually wore anyhow, so that wasn’t really that different from normal.

 

“Look, you need to chill.” Seonhee said. “You’re coming on way to hot. You need to make her long for you. Make _her_ realize how much she likes you.” She continued seriously, pointing at Jongeun with the straw of her drink. Jongeun slowly nodded, a small frown on her face.

 

“And how do I do that?” She asked.

 

“Play it cool.” Seonhee said. “Like I do.”

 

Jongeun blinked, trying to figure out how to put the advice into action. Seonhee was so different from her. Everything about her excluded an air of cool confidence, that she knew just how beautiful she was and how she wasn’t going to lift a finger for anyone. How she did it, Jongeun had never really found out, especially considering she was a giant dork once you truly got to know her, but she figured the razor-sharp eyeliner helped.

 

But Jongeun didn’t really do make up, not much more than a nice moisturizer and letting Seonhee thread her eyebrows every once in a while. She didn’t like the feel of it. It felt thick on her skin and she had never really figured out how to apply it. Neither could she do Seonhee’s chick clothing style. She liked comfortable clothes she could move in and that she could just throw on in the morning.

 

“Don’t listen to her Jongeun.” Myeon sighed, looking over at Jongeun. “Just tell her you’re interested.”

 

“No!” Seonhee protested. “You can’t _tell her_ you’re interested. That will make you look desperate.”

 

“Seonhee.” Myeon sighed, looking up at their girlfriend. “Jongeun clearly isn’t comfortable with your whole cat and mouse style flirting. It’s better to be straight forward. That’s how I got you after all.” They pointed out.

 

“Yeah, just like I knew you would after my ‘cat and mouse flirting’.” Seonhee said and Myeon rolled their eyes, smiling fondly at their girlfriend who wrapped an arm around her partner.

 

“Next time you see her, just tell her.” Myeon said, looking back at Jongeun.

 

“But what if she’s not interested.” Jongeun said, feeling her stomach twist at the thought. Her heart would break if that was the case.

  
“Well, then she’s not. Waiting any longer isn’t going to change that.” Myeon said diplomatically.

 

“It could.” Seonhee said and Myeon elbowed her in the side, shushing her sharply.

 

“It could?” Jongeun said, feeling her heart speed up again.

 

“Don’t listen to her.” Myeon said, smiling reassuringly at Jongeun. Suddenly their eyes focused on something behind Jongeun and a small smile spread on their lips. “There she is! Go and ask her!”

 

Jongeun turned around, seeing Kyungya walk down the corridor. She didn’t seem to have seen them yet.

  
“What? Now?” Jongeun asked, feeling her heart speed up.

 

“Yes now!” Myeon said, giving Jongeun a small push. Jongeun refused to move, shaking her head and insisting she couldn’t do it now. She wasn’t ready. She didn’t even know what she looked like! She was sure her hair was a mess, hastily thrown into a ponytail that surely pulled more to one side than the other.

 

“Kyungya!” Seonhee called before giving Jongeun a push, making her stumble towards the other just as Kyungya looked up.

 

Jongeun gasped, frozen as Kyungya’s eyebrows lifted. The other immediately shone up into a bright smile and Jongeun felt her cheeks heat up, her hand awkwardly raised in a small wave. Seonhee gave her another push, forcing her closer to Kyungya.

 

“Hi Jongeun!” The other said brightly, waving back as Jongeun came to stand in front of her. Jongeun gave another wave in return before lowering her hand, suddenly very aware of how long her arms were. Were they usually this long? And what did you usually do with your hands? Kyungya was holding on to her purse, but Jongeun didn’t have one to do the same with. She tried sticking her hands in her pockets before realizing she was wearing leggings and letting her hands fall limply to the side.

 

“Yeah.” She got out eloquently, nodding and wishing the world would swallow her whole.

 

“Yeah.” Kyungya gave another nod, her bouncy curls moving against her cream coloured blouse. She was wearing a pastel green dress today with flowers and bows and a matching purse in the shape of a rose. She looked like a whole flower garden. “Was that your friends that called for me?”

 

“Uh yeah.” Jongeun gave a nod, turning around so she could point them out. “That’s Seonhee, and then her partner Myeon.” She said and pointed to them in turn. Myeon gave a happy wave while Seonhee simply just tipped her bubble tea ever so slightly.

 

“Oh! They’re cute together. Have they been dating for long?” Kyungya asked happily, returning the wave sent her way.

  
“For two years now. Myeon asked her out, but Seonhee insists it was all because of her that it happened in the first place.” Jongeun said with a small laugh before realizing that maybe that had been stepping over the line for her best friend. “Or well, I mean. She did have hand in it. Please don’t tell her I said that.”

 

She felt her cheeks heat up as Kyungya gave a laugh, her small hand giving Jongeun’s shoulder a light push before she too looked away. Jongeun let out a chuckle of her own, trying not to have her heart beat out of her chest at the thought that _Kyungya had freaking touched her_!

 

“He did good either way. She’s pretty.” Kyungya mumbled.

 

“They.” Jongeun automatically corrected, making Kyungya look up again. “Uh, Myeon isn’t a boy. They use the pronouns they.” She regarded Kyungya for a second, searching for her reaction. People had reacted badly to finding out about Myeon in the past, and Jongeun prayed to all that was holy that Kyungya wouldn’t be one of those people. “I hope that’s okay.”

 

“Of course!” Kyungya quickly spoke. “Of course that’s okay. I mean, it’s his, _their_ business to begin with so... I mean... I’m cool with it if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

“Yeah.” Jongeun gave a nod, looking down at her trainers and trying not to suffocate in the awkward atmosphere she had created around them. Had her trainers always been that dirty? She looked over at Kyungya’s brown boots, all clean and shiny. Did Kyungya like cleaner girls? Girls like Seonhee who put time into what they look like. Kyungya did after all, quite some time judging by the thought through looks she always wore and the pretty makeup. Seonhee could take up to an hour to do her makeup. Jongeun could go from bed to out of the door in 30 minutes.

 

“You think Seonhee is pretty.” Jongeun said, trying not to sound too bothered. Kyungya’s eyes grew wide, her already rosy cheeks growing redder as she met Jongeun’s eyes.

  
“Well, I mean yeah she’s pretty but...” She swallowed, her whole face a light shade of red at this point. “I mean I... I kind of- I- I like girls that are a little bit more like, like- like you know... _You_.” She finally got out, her fingers fidgeting with the clasp of her purse.

 

Oh. _OH_! Oh, holy fuck! Jongeun blinked, her ears replaying what she had just heard to make sure she had heard it correctly. Not only had Kyungya admitted to liking girls (yes!) but also to liking girls like Jongeun ( _FUCK YES_ )!

 

“Do you want to grab a coffee?” Jongeun blurted out before her brain filter could kick in again.

 

Kyungya blinked, her large doe eyes wide for a second before her whole face lifted, her already chubby cheeks growing chubbier and her full lips broadening in a wide smile. Her nose scrunched up, like a small bunny rabbit, and her eyes thinned to the point where they were just tiny half-moons full of happiness. She let out a high-pitched laugh, her already heart shaped mouth growing into an even clearer heart shape and Jongeun’s heart felt as if it would burst straight out of her chest at the sight.

 

“Yes!” She replied, giving a small happy bounce before hiding her face in her hands, lightly clapping her cheeks. Jongeun’s brain short circuited from cuteness.

 

“Tomorrow, after class?” She got out. “I know this place you might like.”

 

“A-ha.” Kyungya nodded, still hiding her face in her hands. “Sounds perfect.” She peeked up for a moment, still smiling brightly and Jongeun felt an equally wide smile reflect on her lips.

 

“Great!” She squeaked.

 

Kyungya gave another giggle, turning away in embarrassment and giving her cheeks a few claps more before looking up again. The next second Jongeun felt her small body press against her own, the other burying her face in Jongeun’s chest in a hug for half a second before Kyungya was fleeing the scene, still trying to hide her blush and smile.

 

With a dazed look Jongeun turned around, looking over at Seonhee who let out a scream, proudly proclaiming to anyone who was listening that _this is what I was talking about! I’m the greatest match maker ever_!

 

* * *

 

 

The café was a lot pinker than Jongeun had expected. _A lot_ pinker. There were tiny hearts everywhere and so many flowers it could practically double as a florist. The moment she and Kyungya stepped in through the door one of the many servants, dressed as little maids, walked up to them, immediately gushing over Kyungya’s outfit and how cute she was.

 

Kyungya was wearing a sailor inspired get up today, her hair pulled back in a long French braid and a tiny white hat on her head. Her blouse had a sailor’s collar and her blue poofy skirt had suspenders. A little scarf was tied around her collar and a print of ships ran up her tights. Her coat had gold buttons and her purse had little rope details forming a nice lace pattern on the lid. She looked like she had sunk hours into her look.

 

Jongeun had dressed up too. Converse, jeans, a nice tank top and a flannel shirt on top. She had brushed and tried to style her hair before resorting to her usual ponytail and even put on a little mascara (and only poked herself in the eye once). But here, next to Kyungya in a cafe that somehow matched her outfit as well, she felt as if she was the sloppiest person in the universe.

 

Kyungya didn’t seem to notice though, she happily grabbed Jongeun’s hand (and stopped Jongeun’s heart) as their maid lead them to their table by one of the windows. The pair of them sat down, Kyungya twisting and turning in her chair as she took in the interior and Jongeun busy just looking at how _fucking_ beautiful Kyungya’s smile was.

 

“I didn’t peg you for the person to know a place like this!” Kyungya said, looking over at Jongeun with a smile. Jongeun felt herself freeze, her eyes growing wide. Caught! Already! Fuck!

 

“Well uh. It’s kind of my first time here.” She said, pushing the strands of hair that had come loose from her ponytail out of her face.

  
“Oh but, you said you knew this place. I thought...” Kyungya frowned.

  
“I...I kind of wanted to impress you so I just said something and then Seonhee had to help me find this place.” Jongeun mumbled, feeling ashamed of herself. She hoped she didn’t look like she was trying too hard. She had heard from plenty of people that that was bad. The problem was thought that Jongeun wanted to try really hard. Like _really_ hard because Kyungya was perfect and she would move halfway across the globe for her if she were to ask. So she was kind of desperate to impress Kyungya.

 

“Really?” Kyungya asked, eyebrows raising and Jongeun gave a weak nod. “Awe, that’s so sweet! I love places like this! Thank you so much.” She giggled, leaning over across the table.

 

Jongeun felt her eyes widen, a smile breaking out on her lips at the next moment. Gods! It had worked! She was a genius! She leant forwards, unable to stop herself from being drawn into the beautiful eyes across.

 

“Ready to order?” Their made asked and Jongeun immediately flew back, almost off her chair, and kicked her knee up into the underside of the table. The tiny sugar bowl and flower vase jumped an inch in the air, making Kyungya let out a shocked sound as she dove after them, thankfully saving Jongeun from further embarrassment by making sure neither of them crashed to the floor.

 

There went looking suave.

 

Plus! She hadn’t even figured out a drink! And she didn’t drink coffee! She wanted the world to swallow her whole! Preferably all traces of her so no one would ever know of the try hard idiot who lost the perfect girl on the first date.

 

Thankfully, Kyungya ended up saving her by ordering for her too, some sort of strawberry drink when she found out Jongeun didn’t like coffee and a matcha latte for herself. She refused to accept Jongeun’s many many thanks, brushing them off with a shy smile and blushing cheeks, which only made Jongeun wanting to thank her more because a blushing Kyungya was just too cute!

 

When the drinks finally arrived, a silence lowered itself over them, Kyungya quietly sipping her matcha latte and Jongeun hesitantly tasting her strawberry drink. It was tasty. Kyungya truly was a genius. Jongeun was beyond lucky to even be on a date with this perfect woman.

 

She should probably say something. This was a date after all, and she should get to know Kyungya better, which meant talking. Right. Saying something. Something good. Something that would make Kyungya like her. Something that wouldn’t make her look more stupid than she had already made herself look. Say something. Fuck! Just say something!

 

“You look cute today.” She forced out, making Kyungya look up with wide eyes. “I mean... you look cute every day, of course but... today you look cute too! Like, extra cute. But not childishly so, just like...adult cute.” She trailed off, hurriedly taking a sip from her strawberry drink so she could stop her mouth from saying more stupid shit.

 

“Thanks.” Kyungya let out a laugh, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t really do sailor lolita that often anymore, so I was a little worried.” She continued, smoothing down her top with a shy smile.

 

“It looks good!” Jongeun said hurriedly. “Really good! I think you’re really good at the whole lolita thing.”

 

Kyungya let out another laugh, her face scrunching up in happiness. Jongeun felt herself melt, her heart growing until it was threatening to take over her whole body with how much she just adored the person in front of her.

 

“How long have you been doing it?” She asked, shifting so she could rest her elbows on the table. Kyungya mimicked the movement, taking her latte between her two hands.

 

“I’ve been doing it for... four years now I think. Yes, since I was 17 years old.” Kyungya nodded, squeezing her cup tightly between her palms. Jongeun took her own drink between her palms, nodding along.

 

“What made you get into it? I mean, it’s not really that common I think.” Jongeun continued, taking a sip. Not even the sweetness of the drink could rival the sweetness of Kyungya.

 

“Not really. I have some other lolita friends but none of them live here. But um, how I got into it is kind of a long story. It’s not really that interesting.” She shook her head, hunching down over her drink as she took a sip. The brightness that surrounded her suddenly dimmed, making her look sad.

 

Jongeun frowned, shifting forwards and trying to catch the other’s eyes. What happened? Had she said something wrong? Kyungya always seemed so bright and happy, seeing her sink in on herself like this looked so wrong. She thought through the other’s reply once more, her mind getting stuck on Kyungya claiming that it wasn’t interesting. 

  
“We have time.” Jongeun reassured, leaning forward a little more. “And I’d love to hear it!” She smiled, giving Kyungya’s foot a small bump under the table. She could see Kyungya’s cheeks lift into a shy smile, her face still turned away but her back straightening ever so slightly as she perked up.

 

“Really?” Jongeun nodded. “Okay well. I used to be really tomboyish when I was a little kid. I know it sounds weird but, like, really tomboyish. I had short hair and I refused to like even touch anything pink and I even threw away this really pretty skirt my grandma had gotten me once.” Kyungya let out an awkward laugh, still not looking up at Jongeun.

 

“I...really can’t imagine that.” Jongeun replied honestly, making Kyungya laugh again.

 

“I know I know. It was...I don’t know I just. I felt so different when I was a kid. Like I wasn’t like the other girls sort of. Like, all of the other girls wanted to have a prince come save them and wanted to play house with the boys and all of those things and I was just...more interested in the girls you know.  Which I totally understand why now but I didn’t then. And it wasn’t like I disliked the girly things per say, but I guess somewhere in my tiny mind I just assumed that since I liked the girls and not the boys, I should be like a boy because boys like girls and girls like boys you know. And that just sort of grew into not the greatest view of girls in my mind you know. And I’m not proud of it, and I know it was wrong to think so now, but back then I just, _really_ , hated anything that could be labelled ‘girly’ because I thought it was inferior and stuff” Kyungya confessed, looking up at Jongeun with large and insecure eyes.

 

“Of course.” Jongeun nodded. “I understand.” Although Jongeun herself hadn’t really been a tomboy at any stage in her childhood, despite what people might assume looking at her, she recognized the disconnection of realizing you’re not like the other girls but not understanding why. And she could understand how such a thing could develop into a less than healthy view of girls. She herself had had some issues of her own to work through that had developed from denying parts of herself.

 

“Well, um what happened was I kept on being a tomboy, and being kind of sad...I guess... until I started middle school. When I was like 14 there was this girl who transferred into our class and she was really like, not girly but feminine. She wore a lot of dresses and skirts and blouses and just generally looked like a businesswoman at all times. Anyhow she befriended me, and I _really_ liked her, and she sort of made me feel better about myself because she never judged you know. So I remember having sleep overs at her place a lot and at some point I tried on some of her clothes and I sort of realized just how much I really like skirts and ruffles and pink and just all of those girly things.” She continued, the brightness returning to her as she talked.

 

Jongeun eagerly nodded, wanting to hear more.

  
“So I started trying to dress less tomboyish and more like traditional girly. But, because everyone knew me as this tomboy I felt really awkward dressing any other way and I felt like everyone was looking at me. And then the summer before high school happened and me and this girl took a trip into Seoul and I found this shop that sold lolita clothes and I just fell in love. So I bought like three dresses there and then. And when I wore them I sort of felt like I was wearing armour, because I couldn’t tell if people were looking at _me_ or the dress, so I just assumed they looked at the dress, and suddenly they weren’t judging me, they were judging a piece of fabric and that’s so much easier to brush off you know. And when I started High school people sort of didn’t know I had dressed in any other way so I just rolled with it because it made me, and still makes me, feel really good about myself so... yeah. I guess that’s how it happened.” She finished with a small smile, her shoulders shrugging up toward her ears as she let out another shy laugh.

 

Jongeun felt herself smile, her whole body feeling warm. She had assumed that Kyungya had always been a girly girl, one of those ones who dressed up as princesses and had all pink school supplies. But now that she knew just why she was dressing and looking the way she did and that it was for no other reason than that it made her happy and feel good about herself just made her like Kyungya even more. It was brave, to be so unapologetically yourself, and Jongeun really admired that braveness.

 

“You can tell it makes you happy.” She said. “It’s like, when you step into a room the whole room just brightens and it’s like you’re shining!”

 

“Really?” Kyungya asked shyly, pushing her hair behind her ear again. “Sometimes, I still feel really awkward dressing like this.” She admitted.

 

“You shouldn’t.” Jongeun said quickly. “It fits you. You’re really beautiful, and the way you dress just makes you even more beautiful.” She had aimed to deliver the line all suave like, but in the middle somewhere she lost confidence, her words losing strength as heat rose on her cheeks.

 

Kyungya let out a high-pitched giggle, quickly hiding her face in her hands and turning away. Jongeun could see her red cheeks through her fingers, and from the way Kyungya was wiggling in her seat Jongeun could only assume she had at least succeeded a little.

 

“You can’t keep saying stuff like that.” Kyungya squealed, gently slapping her cheeks before turning back toward Jongeun. “You’re making me act like some sort of school girl with a crush.”

 

“And here I was hoping you kind of were.” Jongeun said before her brain could stop her. Kyungya let out another giggle, managing to contain herself this time as she stirred her drink.

 

“Am I that obvious?” She asked, looking up at Jongeun through her eyelashes.

 

Jongeun blinked, slowly falling into the honey depths that were Kyungya’s eyes. They were so large, made of the deepest amber, and when the sun hit them like this they were like a sea of golden honey just pulling Jongeun deeper and deeper.

 

“Uh...” Jongeun got out, her spoon slowly slipping from her fingers and back into her drink. The eyes in front of her grew confused, tilted to the side, and Jongeun blinked, sitting up straighter and trying to return to reality. She had not at all gotten lost in the daydream of waking up every morning to those eyes. Not at all. Nope!

 

“You’re equally obvious yourself.” Kyungya said with a giggle, picking up her drink and giving Jongeun a mischievous look as she sipped it.

 

“You caught me.” Jongeun let out a chuckle, feeling her cheeks grow hot again. She pushed the loose strands of hair back out of her face again, trying to collect herself. Kyungya was lethal! She loved it!

 

“So now that you know my origin story, tell me a bit about yourself.” Kyungya said, her foot slowly coming to rest next to Jongeun’s ankle. Jongeun felt herself smile, pressing back a little into the touch to show it was okay, before clearing her throat.

 

They spent the better part of an hour just talking, the words flowing easily between them. Jongeun found herself lost in Kyungya’s animated way of talking more than once. The other had a way of constantly moving whenever she talked, whether it be through using her hands or her face pulling all sorts of expressions as she got to a particularly intense or interesting part of her story. It just made Jongeun fall harder.

 

She herself didn’t move much when she talked, mostly just relying whatever she wanted to say in a laid-back way, but the way Kyungya would hang on to every word made her feel like the best storyteller in the world. The fact that Kyungya laughed at all her lame jokes as well was just an added bonus.

 

During the hour Jongeun learnt that Kyungya’s cat Snowy was two years old and really liked to groom all the stuffed toys in Kyungya’s bed, that her favourite genre of books was science fiction and that she was sad over how it was seen as ‘lesser’ literature along with fantasy et.c., how she thought it was really cool how much Jongeun worked out and that her muscles were, and this was a quote, _“sexy”_ , which promptly made Jongeun lose any and all track what she was talking about and then spend the better part of 5 minutes debating whether or not it would be obvious that she was showing off if she took her flannel shirt off and tied it around her waist. It was, but Kyungya liked it so it didn’t matter.

 

When their drinks had long since been finished and their waitress came fluttering over with the bill as a subtle hint that they had outstayed their welcome, Jongeun quickly payed(she had asked Kyungya out after all so it should be her treat) and followed Kyungya back outside.

 

The early spring weather was frigid and looked a little too cold for someone to be wearing just tights and a skirt, but Kyungya thankfully didn’t seem to freeze. Good. Because if she were Jongeun would definitely offer up her own jacket to the other, which would absolutely lead to her catching a cold out of wanting to show off for her date, which would make her look like a humongous idiot

 

“So...” Kyungya begun, looking up at Jongeun with hopeful eyes.

 

“So...” Jongeun mimicked. She knew what part of the date this was. This was the so will we be seeing each other again or will running into each other in school be painfully awkward from now on part. Although, this time Jongeun felt quite sure of herself. There would be a second date (and a third, and fourth, and then marriage and kids and buying a house and retirement and dying together). Kyungya had seemed to really enjoy herself, and had seemed really into Jongeun.

 

Unless.

 

Unless that had only been politeness. Unless Kyungya hadn’t liked her stores. Unless Kyungya had only laughed at her jokes so to not make the situation awkward. Unless Kyungya had thought her weird flexing was awkward and had only squeezed Jongeun’s biceps out of pity for how much of a fool she was making of herself. Unless Kyungya now hated her and wanted nothing to do with her anymore and it was all Jongeun’s fault for trying too hard! She shouldn’t have tried so hard!

 

“So...” Kyungya said again, smiling and bouncing slightly on her toes. “I really enjoyed this.” She continued.

 

“You did?” Jongeun asked, eyes wide.

 

Kyungya froze, her expression suddenly becoming guarded.

 

“Yes... Didn’t you?” She asked cautiously.

 

“Of course I did.” Jongeun blurted out. “You’re amazing.”

 

This had Kyungya cracking up into another smile, her nose scrunching up adorably.

 

“You were pretty amazing yourself.” She said, swinging her shoulders back and forth and giving Jongeun’s arm a small smack with one of her hands.

 

Jongeun smiled, looking down at her boots. She knew people often talked about feeling butterflies in their stomach whenever they fell in love, but Jongeun felt as if her entire body was full of butterflies, fluttering so madly they threatened to lift her off of her feet.

 

“Is that a yes to a second date?” She asked, looking up at Kyungya again. The other girl bounced up on her tiptoes again, nodding quickly.

 

“But I get to decide the place this time.” She said, holding up a warning finger for Jongeun.

 

“I thought you liked this place?” Jongeun asked, gesturing toward the café they had just left.

 

“ _I_ did. But I’m not so sure you liked it as much. So... Let me try to impress you.” She said, once again giving Jongeun that mischievous look she had sent her from across the table so many times before in the last hour.

 

“Okay.” Jongeun squeaked, trying not to coo too hard over just how adorable Kyungya was being. Kyungya let out a satisfied sound, brightly smiling up at Jongeun.

 

Oh, to hell with it! Jongeun couldn’t resist it anymore! Kyungya was just too cute! And her lips were so plump! And Jongeun just wanted to scratch that itch that had been gnawing at her from the very first time she laid eyes on the other.

 

With a quick step forward she bent down, cupping Kyungya’s face, and pressed her lips to the other’s in a kiss. The other’s lips were just as soft as she had imagined, better even. They tasted faintly of artificial vanilla, and as she deepened the kiss she could taste the matcha still lingering from the drink.

 

Kyungya’s hands gently landed on her waist as Jongeun pulled away, silently telling her to stay close. The other’s eyes were wide, her mouth still slightly open as she looked up at Jongeun with a slightly dazed look.

 

“How about Friday?” Jongeun asked, pushing that stubborn strand of hair behind Kyungya’s ear.

 

“Huh?” Kyungya asked, blinking and making Jongeun laugh.

 

“For our second date. How does Friday sound?”

 

“Oh!” Kyungya suddenly returned to herself, her eyes leaving Jongeun for a short moment as she thought the suggest through, before she replied with a bright smile:

 

“Sounds absolutely perfect.”


End file.
